Risking It For Love
by Splish98
Summary: This is a story about a girl who gets into Welton Preparatory Acedemy and to tell the truth it is one of the best and worst not to mention the hardest decisions of her life... Todd and Meeks also realise they have some feelings they need to address...
1. Chapter 1

**Ok this may be a tad un-realistic as this is a boy's boarding school. **

**None of the characters belong to me except Edward/Eliza.**

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A fat boy walked through the crowded corridors. He had dark brown hair and bright green eyes, he looked incredibly nervous. He walked to the headmasters door and sighed. This is not where he had seen himself in the next year. He slowly knocked on the door and a stern voice answered "Come in."

He opened the door and a bald man nodded in his direction. The boy turned and closed the door. "Your name is Edward Jones. You will tell the other boys that your parents are friends of mine. Make up some back story. I don't care. None of the teachers or your fellow students can know that you are… A girl. You will never tell them. Do you understand?"

"Yes sir." "Edward" understood completely she could not tell a soul. Although Edward was close to her own name but it was going to be hard to remember everything. It was going to be equally as hard to try and remember all of her parents "back-stories" so that the boys don't realise that she had never seen the headmaster before their first meeting in November.

"You will have your own room with proper facilities so that no boy realises what you are." He gave her the directions to her room. He was trying to be kind but she saw hatred in his eyes. Why had he demanded she come to the school if he hated her so much? He needed her grades.

"You will not join in any after school activities. Nor will you join in any protests of any kind. If you are even slightly connected to any protest you will be immediately expelled. Understand?" She nodded, she wouldn't have bothered with the entry exam and stayed in public school if she knew it was going to be this restricting.

"Your parents gave me this to give to you. Do not open it in front of the boys. You may go." She smiled as he passed her the letter. "Don't get into trouble, Edward." She smiled at Mr. Nolan and walked out the door. She walked up the stairs slowly with her suitcase banging against each step.

When she arrived on the level she was meant to she let out a sigh, her costume was very padded and was too hot for her liking. She walked towards her bedroom and smiled. It had a lock on the door, a bathroom, a desk and a bed. This was for the children who did know the headmaster. She shook her head. She didn't want special treatment but they didn't want a "parent uproar". She was getting the feeling that the school was _trying _to make her happy but in truth she wasn't.

Putting her suitcase on her bed she pulled the crumpled letter out of her pocket.

_Dearest Eliza,_

_By now you are probably settled in and have made lots of friends _(Eliza looked around the room and snorted) _so we will keep this short so you can get back to them. __Oh Eliza, we are so proud of you. Lord knows your brother would have never got in. You are so lucky, so do not mess this up for yourself you will only regret it in later life. I know you will do us proud and now you're in the best school in the country there's no limit to what you can do. Something your father and I never felt. I hope you are happy and well. We are all so proud of you and we all love you._

_Lots of Love from, Mom, Dad, John and Sarah._

A tear fell down Eliza's face, she had to do well, for them. She couldn't back out now.

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Hope you liked please tell me what you thought (in the nicest way possible) thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm guessing that this is OK from the lack of reviews so I will carry on.**

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Eliza put her letter in her desk. She started unpacking making sure the door was locked. Her mother had put a picture of Eliza inside her suitcase covered by her clothes. She laughed, and she turned it over, on the back of the frame the words "in case you forget x" were written on pencil.

She put her picture on the desk and carried on un-packing. She heard a quiet knock at the door. Eliza jumped and shut her suitcase putting under the bed. She walked to the door and coughed to make her voice lower. She unlocked the door and found about seven boys stood outside.

"Hello." She said. She knew this had to happen sometime. The boy at the front pushed past her and led on her bed. "You got the best room on the floor, you must know the headmaster well. Dalton, Charlie Dalton." The boy struck out his hand for her to take. He had dark floppy hair and black eyes. She felt herself turn red.

"Edward Jones." He smiled at her and pointed out the rest of his group stood around the room. "This is Stevan Meeks. Get the door, Meeks." The red-head moved from by the window to the door. "This is Neil Perry and his room mate Todd Anderson." He pointed out a tall weedy boy and a shorter bashful boy who went bright red at the mention of his name. "This is Pitts and Cameron." Eliza wasn't sure if these were their first names or second and neither told her. Pitts was an incredibly tall boy, Cameron had Auburn coloured hair. Another boy then introduced himself as Knox.

Eliza smiled at each of the boys. There were some rather attractive young men in her room. "Hi, I'm Edward. Ed or Eddie for short." She felt strangely confident.

"So how do you know the headmaster?" Charlie asked, a mischievous grin grew across his face. "My parents and him went to school together, they've always been friends. They asked him if I could come here and he agreed."

"Who's this?" Asked Neil. He had her picture in his hands. _Shit! _

"Um, well, that's an old friend."

"In case you forget?" Charlie had joined him.

"I said, we were old friends." She snatched the picture from Neil.

"Okay. Just asking. How'd you get a girl like that anyway?" Asked Charlie.

"What do you mean "girl like that"?"

"Well she's pretty hot and you're…"

"Not. I know I'm fat you don't have to pretend like we don't all know it." She stared at the picture. She would not look at the boys. She had never had anyone compliment her let alone an attractive boy. "She didn't care what I looked like." For some odd reason she decided to make up a story about how "Edward" and the girl in the picture were a sort of couple.

"She didn't care what you looked like?" Knox smiled at Eliza, he was almost as good looking as Charlie, he wasn't asking unkindly more trying to make her carry on.

"Yes, it does happen you know." She grinned at Knox and every boy sat on the floor looking up at her like children do when their teacher tells them a story. She added, "We met the day we were born. We haven't really been apart since but she went to a public school and I went private. We lived pretty much next door so we saw each other all the time. I didn't realise at first then I realised that actually she had become this beautiful woman. We never quite got together. A shame really. The day I told her that I was coming here she cried and gave me this." She pointed to her picture. "Well, I won't see her for a long time so maybe it's time to move on." She sighed for effectiveness.

The boys stared up in wonder Edward was the closest anyone had ever got to actually having a relationship. "Great story." Charlie clapped slowly. "Now we better leave. Why don't you come to the study group tonight."

"Yeah, why not?" Eliza smiled at Charlie but thought _twat. _Everyone but Neil and Todd left. "Don't worry about them. They'll grow on you. Sorry for looking at the picture I didn't mean to upset you." Neil grinned at her and attraction flowed through her. "Don't worry about it."

Todd stood behind Neil and smiled at her, "I started today too."

"Then we shall help each other to get lots of friends, catch up and you know everything else. You shall be my partner in crime." She laughed nervously realising that what she had said sounded ridiculous and trust out her hand.

He took it, "I'm gonna need help."

She winked at him and smiled. "You'll be fine."

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**Hope you enjoyed please comment. Thanks.**


	3. Chapter 3

Eliza didn't go to the study group in the end. They had been in lessons all day and she could her homework alone. Also she was too scared that she would say something stupid. She kept on her large costume but took off her wig letting her short brown hair fall down her neck. After she finished her homework she put her wig back on and decided to go see if Todd was OK. She crept along the long corridor. She hoped the door would be open so she could see if Todd was in one of the rooms. He was really sweet _and_ he was cute. None of the doors were open but Neil appeared behind her and smiled, "Who you looking for?"

"Todd." She replied frustrated. He laughed and opened the door next to her, _of course_. Todd was stood looking out of the window in deep thought. Once he opened the door Neil carried on down the corridor. "Todd?" He jumped at the sound of "Edward's" voice.

"Hey Edward. Something wrong?"

"Why would you think there was anything wrong? I came to see if you were okay. I guessed you were alone because everyone else is at the study group. Todd are you OK?" She saw tear tracks down his cheeks.

He laughed, "Miss my family that's all." He turned his back on her.

She felt that he wasn't telling the truth but decided not to ask what was the real reason he was crying. "Me too. We'll be fine. The others seem to be used to it now." He nodded in agreement. After a long and uncomfortable silence Eliza wasn't sure whether to leave or not. She got the feeling that he didn't want her there.

"I suppose I better go…" She turned to go and he cried, "No. Please stay. Sorry it's just been a long day." He sat on Neil's bed and Eliza sat on Todd's. Again they sat in silence. "Have you done your homework?" Pressed Eliza.

"Which one?" He smirked.

"Which one _haven't _you done?" Todd brought out a wad of paper. He picked up his math first. Eliza moved to Neil's bed and sat next to Todd. She asked if she could help him, unsurprisingly he accepted. They sat on their own sorting out his homework laughing and actually enjoying doing their homework.

Neil appeared after an hour. He opened the door and Todd looked down at his paper. "Am I interrupting?" He grinned at them both.

"No I was just going to go back to my room. 'Night." They smiled at her and called "Good night" after her. Neil smiled at Todd. "You two should have come to the study group we were doing the same thing there as you were doing here." He then realised Todd was sat on _his _bed. He didn't say anything but busied himself with other things.

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**Hope you enjoyed please comment!**


	4. Chapter 4

Eliza walked back to her room but on the way she could hear voices from another room. She walked towards it. She wondered whether or not to open the door but before she could, Charlie did.

"Hello. I thought you weren't coming to the study group. Well we've finished for the night, sorry." He was stood so close to her that she realised his eyes weren't as dark as she had thought but slightly green. She could see Knox behind him and thought up an excuse. "Oh right, don't worry I was going to ask Knox how his thing went tonight."

He looked up and explained that he had met the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. Eliza felt jealous but smiled "Well what happened?" Instead of replying he hit his head against the wall behind him. "She's pretty much engaged to Chet Danburry."

Eliza suddenly realised who he was talking about. She looked at Charlie who had been staring at her since she arrived at the door. He looked at Knox and made an excuse to go. "Chris is nice just stay away from Chet." Eliza smiled but Knox looked puzzled he hadn't mentioned this girl was called Chris to Edward.

She turned and walked into her room. She sighed remembering the events of the morning, "Tradition, honour, discipline, excellence." She had in her first day broken two parts of the school's motto. She had to please Nolan but already she was finding hard. Charlie, Knox, Neil and Todd. Well Knox was out of the picture now that he fancied her best friend and she guessed Todd was too… he was more of a friend anyway. _Neil and Charlie… Neil or Charlie… No, they can _never _know._

*

Eliza sat at the back of the English room next to Charlie. She hadn't chosen to sit there more dragged by Charlie to sit next to him. She actually felt more sorry for Todd who had been pushed to the front of the class. Neil was made to read a passage from the introduction. At once everyone in the class fell asleep. Eliza turned to look around the classroom and met Charlie's eyes. He had been looking at her again. _What is his problem? _He smiled at her and kicked Knox's chair. Which made Knox turn around and glare at his best friend. As he turned around to face the front again Knox flashed a smile at Eliza at the same time as Charlie.

"Rip it out!" Keating shouted and Charlie pulled out his whole introduction followed by every one else in the class.

*

Lunch that day was strange. Each of the boys were trying to talk to Eliza. She didn't understand their need to talk to her. She was a normal "boy" and then she realised. Her parents were "friends" with Dr. Nolan. They were trying to get in his good books. Todd was the only one she felt she could trust. He stayed quiet when nobody else would leave her alone. Neil hadn't appeared yet so she took the chance to talk to Todd alone.

"Which school did you come from?"

"B-Balincrest. A-and you?"

Todd looked at her and she suddenly panicked she couldn't say "I went to the same public school that Chris and Chet go to."

She decided, "St Louis's." The name slipped out. She didn't even know if there was a private school called "St Louis's". The boys around her gasped and said "Wow." so she guessed it did exist. Unfortunately her plan to just talk to Todd did not work because now she was asked lots of questions like "How'd you get in?"

She was relieved when Neil appeared with a large book. He passed it 'round showing everyone the picture of Mr. Keating. Underneath it's picture it said he was something to do with something called the "Dead Poets Society".

*

After lunch they went to find Mr. Keating to ask what the "Dead Poets Society" was. He told them they read poetry but when Knox asked why they just read poetry he replied "We didn't just read poetry, we let it drip from our tongues like honey." Each boy was impressed when he told them that "women swooned" but Eliza stood up straight forgetting she was supposed to be a boy.

Each boy agreed to go but Edward and Todd. Todd did not want to read in front of people and Eliza wanted to spend as little time she could with her new friends. Just in case.


	5. Chapter 5

They sat in a large room. McAlister had moved them from the Latin room, for some reason. Most of Eliza's group of friends were talking about the meeting tonight. Todd and her sat away from them, trying desperately to think of something else. Neil came over to them both and smiled. Eliza noticed that Todd seemed different when with Neil than with anyone else. Somehow he managed to get them both to want to go to the Dead poet Society meeting.

When Eliza walked back to her room she found Charlie sat on her bed looking at her picture. "Charlie? What are you doing?" He jumped at the sound of her voice. "Oh, hey Edward. I was looking at the picture of… What did you say her name was?"

"I didn't. It's" She sighed and added, "Elizabeth but she likes to be called Eliza." Charlie nodded and looked at the picture again. "Why are you looking at her picture?"

He smiled "Just seeing something." Eliza started to panic had he realised they were the same person. "I've just been having these weird feelings. So I wanted to check. Don't worry everything's fine." He looked at "Edward" and back at the picture. Charlie stood up and Meeks appeared behind Eliza. She had noticed that Meeks changed around Charlie. She was in the middle of a very strange circle of, friendship?

Charlie and Meeks walked out together and Eliza was left alone again. She couldn't stand being in a room with Charlie alone. It was hard enough for her in a room with loads of people not to tell him she liked him. In a room alone she wanted so much more…

She picked up the picture just lying on her bed and wondered why he had been looking at it. "Just seeing something" didn't seem quite right.

Although she had her pyjamas (which of course were incredibly padded like her clothes) and a dressing gown on Eliza felt naked, which was made worse that she was going to a cave with a bunch of boys one of whom she felt very attracted to. She was incredibly jumpy the whole way to the cave and it didn't help that Charlie was breathing down her neck the whole way there.

When they arrived they realised it was quite a small cave. Pitts banged his head on the ceiling many times. They sat down and Neil read a poem written by Henry David Thoreau "I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life. To out to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die discover that I had not lived." Each boy looked shocked but carried on smoking their cigarettes and eating the remnants of food they had stolen.

They sat telling stories for a while then Charlie read a poem on the back of a naked woman's picture.

Eliza then smiled she stood up "My turn." She stood facing the boys and started, ""Why, William, on that old grey stone, thus for a length of half a day, why, William, sit you thus alone, and dream your time away? Where are your books? That light bequeathed to beings else forlorn and blind! Up! Up! And drink the spirit breathed from dead men to their kind. You look round on your mother earth, as if she for no purpose bore you; as if you were her first-born birth, and none had lived before you!" One morning thus by Esthwaite lake, when life was sweet, I knew not why, to me my good friend Matthew spake, and thus I made reply. "The eye it cannot chuse but see; we cannot bid the ear be still; our bodies feel, where'er they be, against or with our will. Nor less I deem that there are powers which of themselves our minds impress, that we can feed this mind of ours, in a wise passiveness. Think you, mid all this mighty sum of things for ever speaking, that nothing of itself will come, but we must still be seeking? - Then ask not wherefore, here, alone, conversing as I may, I sit upon this old grey stone, and dream my time away." William Wordsworth." The boys sat in awe. They hadn't expected anyone to memorise a poem.

Charlie looked so confused he almost looked like he was in pain. The rest of the evening was filled with poems finished by Meeks chanting "Then I saw the Congo creeping through the black, cutting through the forest with a golden track."

They ran back to school which was almost as exciting as the trip to the cave. Everyone went back to their rooms. Todd and Neil didn't talk when they got back. Although Todd wasn't being unkind he had something on his mind. Something… Illegal.

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**I didn't write "Expostulation and Reply" in verse form because Eliza was saying it not reading it.**


	6. Chapter 6

The next few days were… difficult. Meeks was starting to get annoyed because Charlie was spending more time with "Edward" than him and "Edward" was getting full marks in every test and piece of homework that "he" gave in.

To make matters worse each boy was feeling low because Mr. Keating announced that they were going to do some Shakespeare. Todd and Eliza were spending as much time as possible together. They felt comfortable together, except when Neil or Charlie were mentioned. However they almost had to hide to have any time alone. Charlie would barge in every time Eliza almost got Todd to reveal his true feelings for his room mate and if not Charlie, Neil which would make Todd silent for the rest of the day.

One evening while reading Henry V Eliza heard a knock on the door. "Co- come in."

Charlie walked in his face was bright pink and he smiled, "Thought you'd be in the library."

"No I'm here. What's- what's wrong Charlie?" She suddenly realised he thought she was going to be out of his room so why was he there? "Nothing I was going to ask whether I could see your homework. Maths." She smiled and brought out two pages of work. He stared at it for a while, "You did this?" She nodded, Meeks was the only one who wanted to know her scores for everything. Looking at his face made her heart skip a beat. He was concentrating on the page, he had obviously done his wrong.

"Thanks. Er, see you in English tomorrow."

"Yup, see you there." He walked out of the room and Eliza heard a bang on the wall where he bashed his head in embarrassment.

*

An awful feeling washed over each class member as they walked into their next English lesson. First of all Keating set them a-thousand-word essay each. Then everything seemed to be fine for the rest of the lesson until ten minutes before the lesson finished he jumped onto the desk… He asked why he was stood on the desk and Charlie shouted "To feel taller?" When Mr. Keating pressed the bell on his desk Charlie turned to Eliza, he felt so proud of himself. When he smiled at her she shook her head at him, his face fell. "I stand on my desk to remind myself that we must constantly look at things in a different way."

He instructed the boys to follow his lead and stand on the desk. Each did falling off after each other after a brief scan of the room. Todd and Eliza were the last to get on top of the desk and felt the full blow of each groan as Mr. Keating told them all that they were going to write poetry for him and read it aloud in front of the whole class. When he pointed out that this task would scare Todd the most Todd blushed and suddenly wanted to go home.

Neil was waiting for him at his desk, "You'll be fine." Todd said nothing and let the slightly older boy lead him towards their room. Eliza stood at her desk and could feel Charlie's eyes burning the back of her neck. "Charlie." He stood up straight gave a mock smile and walked out of the door mumbling to himself. He didn't usually annoy her this much but today whatever he did was going to annoy her.


	7. Chapter 7

Eliza stood staring out of the window of her room. She was desperately trying to think of something to write:

"I don't know what to do,

What's it all mean,

It all makes me so mad,

I want to scream?"

She screwed up another piece of paper. Her eyes flickered over the ground, she could see some boys fighting, others playing football and she could see Charlie's rowing team.

She sighed. It wasn't Charlie's fault she had found him annoying the past few days and it wasn't completely her fault that she was getting annoyed with him. She couldn't stop being a girl whatever costume she wore. He had just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time although he hadn't talked to her like usual since that English lesson.

*

Todd was sat writing his poem. He couldn't express himself because what would his friends think? _Please let me out I'm gay as can be? _He laughed at himself. The door burst open and Neil appeared. He thrust a piece of paper in his companions hands. They talked about Midsummer Nights Dream but Todd made him angry. He hadn't wanted to. He just wanted to make him see reason.

When Todd asked him to butt out and Neil said "no" Todd could have kissed him right there and then. He had a mischievous grin on his face. Todd didn't expect him to steal his poetry though.

Eliza heard loud noises and walked down the hall to Todd and Neil's room. The rest of the corridor were stood outside watching something inside the room. She saw five boys running around the room jumping on the beds and laughing manically. Hager appeared behind her just after she arrived. He shouted at all of the boys and Eliza decided it would be best for her to vanish before Charlie- but it was too late he was stood in front of her with a smirk on his face.

He started to walk away. "Charlie. Charlie please wait." He spun in his heels and looked down into her eyes, she hadn't realised how close together they were. "I'm sorry I've been such a, jerk. I didn't mean to upset you. Sorry." She smiled weakly and walked back to her room. As she opened the door Charlie stuck his arm across the frame. "Coming to the meeting tonight?"

"Of course. Got stuff to do first. So I'll see you later." He seemed satisfied, winked at her and walked away, leaving her a brilliant shade of pink.

*

After being told off by Hager Todd and Neil sat on their own beds laughing. "So, what's up, Todd?"

"S-sorry?"

"What up? Something's got to be wrong. I mean you've hardly talked to me all week. Did I do something?"

"N-no. It's not you. Well… It's hard to explain."

"Try me."

"I can't, Neil." He stood up to walk out of the door but stood still when he got to the handle. "Todd. Please, just" He sighed and added, "speak to me. I worry about you sometimes." They both sighed and Neil added, "Look I get it. It's alright. No one thinks differently of you." Todd looked at him, puzzled. "We all know your feelings. I mean you don't hide it very well. Charlie wasn't impressed though." Neil walked slightly towards Neil. "We all love him, Todd but I'm not sure if Edward is after _you_ that's all. No one wants you to get hurt."

Todd suddenly thought _carpe diem! _He grabbed Neil's jumper and kissed his lips. They both stumbled backwards from shock. "Oh. I-I'm so… I didn't-" Before he could finish Neil had him against the door in a strong, passionate kiss.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"W-why didn't you tell _me_?" they both gasped.

"Why-why on earth did you think I liked Edward?" Neither of them had let go of each other in fact at this moment Neil was kissing Todd's neck. "You spend so much time together that we thought that you were a bit of a couple but the way he looks at Charlie told us otherwise. Actually Charlie had a bet that you were just Edwards play-thing."

"I have no feelings for Edward other than friendship." He pushed Neil away slightly so that he could look into his eyes, "Edward feels the same. That's why we spend so much time together so that he could try and resist Charlie and I could resist-" Before he could say anything else Neil was holding Todd close while smashing his face and neck with kisses both of them moaning "I love you."

Before anything else happened a knock on the door told them that Knox was back from visiting Chris. The boys grinned at each other and Neil led Todd to the common room down the hall by his arm.

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Hope you enjoyed the first love scene. That is about as risky they will go. Please comment!


	8. Chapter 8

I want to thank everyone who has commented so far you are amazing and I love you!!!!

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Todd and Neil couldn't see anyone in the corridor until "Edward", who had actually been doing homework (not _just _fantasising about her and Charlie in the English room…) stuck "his" head out of "his" door. Eliza shook her head and marched into the small common room down the hall closely followed by Todd and Neil.

She stormed into the room and decided it was Charlie who had knocked on her door. "Look, I've actually got a lot-" she broke off when she noticed Knox and turned red. "So how'd it go?" She changed her tone automatically, Charlie raised his eyebrows and laughed at her.

"It was terrible… No worse than terrible…" He was sat on a large armchair and everyone sat at his feet. In fact the only member of the group that wasn't there was Cameron… Neil and Todd sat _very _close together with their hands almost touching. Eliza smiled when she noticed and saw them grin at each other. She turned to look around the other side and noticed that Charlie was staring at her. Laughing she said "Well, carry on Knoxy."

"She was stood with all her other cheerleading friends and then this boy I had never seen before walked up to her and tapped her shoulder. She looked so happy to see him and hugged him… They came towards me and sat on his car talking."

"What did they say, Knox?" Asked Eliza.

"Um I think, "has she contacted you lately?" That was the guy and she said "no but she'll be fine. I miss her we all do." He nodded in agreement. They hugged again-"

"Did you catch his name?" She was getting louder "What did he look like?"

"Jeez, Edward. Um I think his name was John? He was large, tall and had longish brown hair."

Eliza sighed and smiled. Her big, little brother missed her. Then she realise he had a car, and hated him. "Well, carry on Knox."

"He drove away and she went back to cheerleading. Then _he _appeared and I came back." Knox had tears in his eyes, so did Neil but that was because he was trying not to snog Todd. "It'll be alright Knox. She'll come 'round. They always do." Eliza patted his shoulder and walked back to her room in silence.

Knox let everyone go back to their rooms and sighed. He stayed there for a while before giving up to his emotions and letting tears fall down his face. He then realised how embarrassed he felt so walked towards his room. Before he got there he was deafened by the sound of bed springs coming from Todd and Neil's room.

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Thanks for reading if you are enjoying please just put an "S" in a review (if you have anything more that would be FANTASTIC) please comment! :D


	9. Chapter 9

The next English lesson they had was interesting… Thankfully Mr. Keating had warned the boys that they were going to play soccer outside the lesson before because all her hard (especially with Charlie) work would be useless if she had to change into her PE stuff in front of the other boys. So she decided to embarrass herself and come already dressed in her PE stuff.

Mr. Keating actually praised her for thinking forward. The rest got changed and she was left alone in the classroom with Mr. Keating. He was busying himself with his desk when he realised no one had talked for the past five minutes. "Don't look so tense Mr. Jones. Or should I say Ms Jones." Her eyes grew… He knew. "Sir, I…" She soon realised that he was actually whistling the song "Have you met Ms Jones?"

They again sat for a while in silence. "How is your poem coming?" Mr. Keating looked up hopefully.

"I'm finding it difficult. But it's coming."

"That's what I like to hear don't let it defeat you." He smiled at the boy and Eliza shuffled in her seat. All her poems were about Charlie or the fact that she was a woman. Eventually after a long and painful silence with her favourite teacher the other boys started to appear. After each class member appeared Mr. Keating led them to the field.

He decided each boy would find it "fun" to have a line of poetry, say it then kick a ball. Eliza wasn't impressed. She had never been able to kick a ball. Luckily she got out of it by pleading that she put the ball in front of the boys. Mr. Keating was amused by her plea and decided to accept her request.

*

A few days later there was a loud noise from the corridor as Neil ran past shouting he was playing Puck. Unfortunately Eliza miss-heard Puck… He grinned at Todd and pulled him close to plant an affectionate kiss on his lips. Every one but Cameron was now aware that they were a couple. Neil sat down at his type-writer and started to write a letter to Mr. Nolan from his father closely watched by Todd…

Eliza turned to go back in her room when Charlie shouted "Study group tonight, Edward?" Eliza panicked and said "Sorry can't tonight gotta write poetry." She turned to look at Charlie, he looked at the ground and entered his room. She heard Meeks sigh and turned to look at him. "Meeks would you come in here a sec?" Eliza asked politely.

He nodded and followed her. She closed and locked the door behind him. A look of worry passed over his face. "Is there something wrong Meeks? Have I done something wrong? You don't seem to like me."

He recoiled, "No I do like you. No you haven't done anything."

"Is it just the Charlie thing then?" She didn't mean to sound so rude and pretentious but wanted to know why he hated her.

"I, er, sorry."

"I'm sorry that's not how it meant to come out. I know your feelings for him. It's OK Todd and Neil are a couple. I won't judge. It's just…" She scratched her head and her wig slipped slightly. It didn't go un-noticed.

"Why are you wearing a wig?" Meeks was stood next to the window trying to keep his distance.

"There's something I have to tell you. But you haven to promise not to tell a soul… Even Charlie." She could have covered it up but Meeks wouldn't have believed her. It was time to tell the truth.

"I promise."

She slowly removed the wig letting her hair fall down her neck. She then took off her large, padded jumper (don't worry she had a top on underneath) and stood up straight. "I am a woman. Alright girl of you want, it doesn't matter anyway." Eliza dropped her "man-voice" and used her own voice. It felt even better than eating chocolate, although she realised how dry her throat was from using the voice. Meeks was silent. She let it sink in for abut five minutes.

"You're a girl. How the _fuck _did you get in?" After asking he turned red and stared at the floor.

"My parents sent in a form in my brothers name. They received a letter asking him to go in and take a test. I was unaware of this when I went to take the test, putting down my own name. I then got a call a few weeks later asking me to take another one and again a few months after that. They then made me take a test in a white room by myself. It turned out in each of the tests I had got 100% of the marks correct. The other tests were to make sure the first wasn't a fluke. The principal demanded I come to the school but dress up as a boy because if anyone found out the parents would go "haywire". He also told me that if anyone found out I would be expelled. It wasn't my plan to tell you. Nor was it my plan to fall for Charlie. I'm so sorry Stevan." She sat on her bed and sighed.

The ginger haired boy smiled at her and sat next to her, "It wasn't my plan either."

Eliza smiled to herself, it was the first time he had told her his feelings. There was always going to be a rivalry between them (both in work and Charlie) but at least Meeks knew he was the cleverest _boy _in school.

"I won't tell anyone, Dead Poets honour." They smiled at each other.

Meeks let her re-dress before opening the door. "Thanks Meeks." She coughed and her "man voice returned when she added "Later."

He opened the door and bumped into Charlie.

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Hope you enjoyed! "S" thing still counts! And "Have you met Ms Jones" was written in 1933!!


	10. Chapter 10

"Charlie? Were you listening?" Meeks felt paranoid.

"Trying to. You two have very quiet voices." He looked upset for some reason. Both Meeks and Eliza relaxed straight away.

"What's up Charlie?" Her "man-voice" stung her throat again. He walked inside her room and closed her door in Meeks's face. "Is there something going on with you and Meeks?"

She laughed, "What is it with you boys?" Her eyes widened as she said it but Charlie looked like he hadn't heard what she had said. "You are all so suspicious. I hung out with Todd alone so you thought something was going on, now I spend less than half an hour with Meeks and something is going on with us? No Charlie nothing is going on." He hadn't realised he was holding his breath until he released it.

"OK." He turned, opened the door and walked out of Eliza's room. She shook her head after he left. _I have to be more careful, no one else can know. _

*

Their English lesson the next day was the most painful they had ever had. They had to read their poetry out in front of the whole class. Todd's improvised poem was the most impressive and inspirational of the whole class. Eliza, upon hearing Todd's, crushed her poem into a ball. Mr. Keating noticed. "Mr. Jones why did you just do that?"

"Because it's rubbish, captain." She went bright red and felt like crying. Her "man voice" cracked.

"Read it to us anyway. Put yourself out of your misery." _Like this will put me out of my misery._

She coughed making sure her voice was manly enough. Charlie sat up in his seat and smiled at her. Her friends were hoping that her poem was ok for her sake. They all smiled encouragingly. Eliza glanced at Todd then turned her gaze to Charlie, he gave her strength.

"The Mouse and The Man.

A man sat,  
In his house,  
He heard scuffling of a rat,  
But found a mouse,

"Please" it said,  
"Spare me please,  
I'm underfed,  
I'm on my hands and knees."

The man stood tall  
And looked at the sun,  
He walked to the wall,  
And took off his gun.

He shot at the mouse,  
It died.  
The man is still searching  
For the rat."

Eliza sighed. She had gone for the mouse and the man because it was the safest option. Her friends clapped and the rest of the class joined in. Eliza smiled and went back to her seat.

Charlie grinned at her and Mr. Keating announced, "Thank you Edward. Poems can be about ordinary things like a mouse and a man sat in his house. Well done. Who's next?"

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The poem was written by me. Sorry if it was bad and yes I am aware that the last stanza doesn't rhyme. Please comment.


	11. Chapter 11

Eliza had been "unwell" the next day. In truth she didn't want to play soccer so pulled a "sickie" thankfully, Charlie agreed to back up her story. She had told the nurse that she had a terrible migraine. Mr. Nolan came to check she wasn't faking but as soon as they were alone whispered "women problems" and he walked out of the room satisfied she was ill. That or he was too embarrassed to say otherwise.

Todd had seemed to come out of his shell since their poetry lesson. He was now enjoying his time at "Helton" especially those nights were neither him nor Neil could sleep… He felt like a normal boy playing soccer with his friends. Every time anyone scored a goal the other boys on his team would pile on top of him. Todd was the third boy to score a goal. The other boys ran at him (including Neil) and crowded around, Neil and Todd were stuck in the middle of the crowd they grinned at each other and Neil stole a kiss from Todd.

When they returned they found Eliza sat in her room bored stiff. She was reading four different books and doing unnecessary homework. Todd knocked on the door and she scrambled into her bed. "Come in." She murmured in her "man voice" weakly. Todd walked in excitedly and she sighed. "How was soccer?" Todd grinned and both Charlie and Neil followed him in.

"He was excellent!" Shouted Neil and he put his arm around him.

"He was actually, it's not _just_ Neil trying to get some tonight." Charlie grinned at Eliza.

"And the rest of you?" Eliza was curious to what she had missed.

"Our team won!" Cried all three boys. She smiled "Congrats!"

Knox suddenly appeared in the doorway. He looked like a lost puppy. Everyone knew why he looked so miserable. "You coming to the meeting? We're going to have it in about an hour." Neil asked everyone but looked at "Edward."

"Um, Neil. You do realise it's the middle of the day, don't you?" Eliza had never thought of having the meeting in broad daylight.

"Well duh." Charlie scoffed at her.

"Don't worry we'll be fine." Neil announced, rolling his eyes at Charlie.

Eliza smiled at Knox and tapped the space on the bed next to her. He smiled weakly and joined her. Neither said anything but she patted his shoulder. "How's your migraine?" He whispered through silent tears.

Eliza started to laugh and eventually every boy in the room joined in, even Knox. Meeks heard the laughing, stuck his head in the door and was surprised to see "Edward" and Knox sat on the bed next to each other. He was expecting _Charlie _and "Edward" to be sat together, let alone sat on "his" bed. Meeks walked in and everyone's laughter started to subside.

"Hey, Meeks." Eliza said.

He smiled and nodded at her. She had a goofy smile on her face which was starting to make her cheeks ache. He felt smug for some reason, it was the first time "Edward" and Charlie didn't look like a couple.

Pitts then entered and they sat talking for the rest of the hour the whole time Knox and Eliza sat together giggling not without jealous glares from Charlie…


	12. Chapter 12

When the boys and Eliza left for the cave they were in incredibly high spirits. Neil had vanished but no one was worried, he had told them he had to do something. They entered the cave and Pitts hit his head on the roof (again) everyone else got comfortable and Eliza finally realised that Charlie had a saxophone around his neck. They were all talking about the game today. Eliza would ask questions just so they would keep talking. She kenw that if they were loud enough then she couldn't think about anything, namely Charlie. Knox looked miserable once again, Eliza sat in-between him and Charlie. She didn't know what to say to Knox, _she's not worth it. She likes jerks and she can be a bitch. You deserve better, Knox._ She then laughed to herself, _She's my best friend and I think of her like that. Jeez what do I think of my enemies._

Pipes were passed around but Eliza refused to have one when Knox offered her one, "Sorry I don't like the taste of it, you should know that by now. The fact that I've never accepted a cigarette from you has never told you anything? I like the smell of pipes though so I'll just passively smoke." She winked at Charlie and he told Cameron to back off, Charlie took any excuse to shout at him.

When Neil finally appeared he had a very run-down lamp. He called it "The God of the Cave" and placed it on a ledge. Charlie then stood up and re-cited a poem written by himself. Everyone laughed while he played until he started playing a hauntingly beautiful tune. Eliza sat still, her back ridged, she was suddenly even more attracted to him than she had been before the meeting. He ruffled Knox's hair and winked at Eliza making her blush. "I can't take it anymore. If I don't have Chris I'm gonna kill myself." Shouted Knox.

Each boy felt scared for a moment. Knox never said anything like that before, they hadn't realised he had got to this point. Every boy followed him as he excitedly ran to the pay phone. He phoned her and immediately put down the phone after hearing her voice. Neil put his arm on Todd's back so that they could be touching but none of the teachers and Cameron would notice. "You're right. Carpe diem." The other boys had said nothing but they let Knox run with it. Charlie was stood incredibly close to Eliza, their hands were almost touching.

Even though she was interested in how the telephone conversation was going in front of her she let her mind wonder onto Charlie. Mainly, was he gay? If he liked her then it wasn't for Eliza it was for Edward. In that case he would be sorely disappointed when he found out that "Edward" is a she. She also couldn't help thinking what about Meeks? He had been so kind to her lately and what if he was gay? She couldn't just keep Charlie to herself in that case.

Charlie looked down at her before moving to Knox's side. "It's gonna happen guys I can feel it." Knox walked away before adding "She will be mine." Knox walked up the stairs and Eliza followed. She had too much thinking to do. She should have done it when she had a chance (namely lying in bed all day) as she walked up the stairs Charlie told the other boys he was going to bed. He followed "Edward" up the stairs but stopped in his room to make sure he looked irresistible.

Charlie combed his hair and walked down the hall to "Edward's" door. Charlie knocked on the door and heard "Edward's" almost comically low voice announce "Come in."

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Please comment I want to know what you think. Especially if Charlie is or isn't gay. I may not listen anyway and do it the way I choose but I'd like to hear your views. Thanks.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for your comments readers (ok HeadinTheClouds13 and Aeris5256) I have decided to do it this way. Hope you enjoy and please comment!**

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Charlie opened the door and smiled. Eliza was sat at her desk. "Charlie. What can I do for you?" Eliza felt her heart jump, and butterflies went wild in her stomach.

Charlie's heart was racing. He loved the feeling before he jumped someone. It made him feel more human than god. He walked inside, closed and locked the door. Eliza notice him do it, the noise of the lock clicking deafened her. Her mouth felt very dry. Charlie stood facing the door for a few seconds, just breathing.

"I'm confused." He said finaly turning to her. _Always make them sympathetic. Puppy dog eyes. _He noticed how strangely tidy the room was. Not even Camerons was this good.

"About what?" Eliza asked trying the best she could to stare at the piece of paper on her desk. She didn't want to look at him because as soon as she did she knew he would have complete control of her.

"My feelings are so screwed up." She couldn't resist anymore (She thought, _I can't even last seconds without seeing him, great willpower)_ and looked up at him, he looked like he might cry, his dark eyes had a strange sparkle in them though. "This term has been so weird. I was doing thousands of girls in the summer." _Thousands? _Thought Eliza she wanted to let out a groan. How could she love such a pig? "But now." He looked straight into her eyes, _go for the kill, you are God of sex Charlie Dalton._ He waited a few seconds before carring on. "I'm not so sure anymore. Since, I met you." Her face fell, she sighed and he thought, _fuck yes! I'm getting some tonight. _

Eliza laughed. "Oh Charlie." She stood up, "Sorry to disappoint but, um, I'm a woman." She pulled off her wig and used her natural voice. He looked stunned. She wasn't sure why he looked so helpless all of a sudden. He shook his head loosing his lost expression and he ran at her smashing kisses against her lips. His breath was minty, she sighed into his mouth. His hands ran up her jumper and felt her breasts. It shouldhave been bliss but she couldn't enjoy it completely because the image of Meeks popped into her mind. Shook her head and pushed him back. "What are you doing?" He exclaimed half laughing. This had never happened to him before.

"I can't, I thought I could but I can't. It wouldn't be fair. I'm sorry." Eliza shook her head, Charlie's face screwed tight and he sighed.

"Meeks'll deal with it. He always does." He noticed her lips draw into a line. He walked towards her and stroked her soft brown hair.

"You knew?" She pushed away his hand, "Why do you treat him like _shit_ when you know how he feels?" She was horrified. She moved from his grasp and stared at him.

"Exactly that reason. He loves me so he will do anything for me." He shrugged. He didn't seem to see the problem, he actually looked smug. Eliza shouted, "You're an ass-hole. Get out of my room. Now." He sniggered and did as she asked.

Charlie skulked towards Meeks's room. He was going to do someone and he didn't care who. His footsteps echoed on the wooden floor. He pushed open the door to find Meeks wearing only his pants. He pulled off his own jumper and shirt and ordered him to drop them…

*

Eliza sat in her room tears streaming down her face. She still had her costume on, but no wig. She couldn't believe what she had sacrificed just to keep someone else happy. She knew Meeks would never do the same thing for her. Todd knocked on the door and walked into the room.

As soon as he noticed there was a girl at "Edwards" desk he stopped. He closed the door behind him slowly and said "Hello. You must be… Eliza?" He stuck his hand out, he couldn't hide his confusion from her though. "Todd it's me, Edward."

Todd's eyes grew. He sat on her bed and stared at his friend. He looked outside the window for a while staring at the sky.

"So- so you're a girl?"

"Yup."

"Are you Eliza?"

"Yup."

"OK. Right." He paused "How did you get in?" She explained how she ended up in "Helton" again and guessed she would have to a few more times before the term was up. When she finished Todd finally asked, "So, why are you crying?"

Her reply was "Because Charlie's a dick, and to tell the truth... so am I." He eyes filled with water again. Todd swallowed and walked towards her he put his arm around her, she turned to him and grabbed him in a strong embrace.

She sobbed into his arm. Leaving a large wet-patch on his shoulder. "I won't tell anyone anything about what you have told me if you don't want me to." He looked at her. She nodded and said "Thank you." In between sobs. Putting her head back on his shoulder she noticed that Neil and Todd smelt very similar.

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**Hope you liked (don't worry Charlie might redeem himself) please comment.**


	14. Chapter 14

Eliza locked herself in her room that night. She didn't want to see anyone but Todd. He made her feel safe and not so stupid. She finally let him go after an hour of listening to her cry. He wanted to be with Neil and she just wanted to sleep. As he walked past Meeks's room Charlie walked out with a very satisfied look on his face and a cigarette in his hand. Todd thought nothing of it until he saw Meeks led on the bed with the same look on _his_ face. Todd shook his head. He felt ashamed to even know Charlie at that moment.

He opened his own bedroom door. Neil was sat on Todd's bed reading through his script. Todd stood staring at him for a while smiling. Their room was a tip. He had the sudden urge to clean it. Todd closed the door makeing Neil look up. His face lit up. He put down his script, stood up and walked towards his boyfriend, he noticed Todd looked slightly upset.

"Is everything OK?" He kissed Todd and sighed in his mouth. Todd murmured "Mm huh."

Neil smiled and kissed him again this time letting his lips explore Todd's neck and chin. Neil pushed him towards the door and held his waist. Neil came back up to his lips and bit Todd's bottom lip letting surges of electricity run through his body. Todd pressed his hands against Neil's back and pulled him towards him, letting his hands slip down to grasp his bottom. Neil mirrored the action on Todd, then ran his hands up to run his fingers through Todd's hair. He then took the first step of unclasping Todd's belt and undoing his pants, he then ran his hand down inside them. Todd gasped and moaned in Neil's mouth each one more delectable than the last. Somehow they managed to stumble to Neil's bed…

Eliza fell fast asllep as soon as her head hit the pillow. Around one o'clock in the morning she was awoken by a soft thud on the door. There was a patch of light that couldn't get under the door. Eliza heard them take a breath and whisper something. They then stood up and walked away. Leaving her bemussed. She fell back asleep. She would never remember this incident again she would always think it was a dream.

*

The next morning they all walked to English together chatting excitedly but as soon as they sat down Mr. Keating told them that they had to go out to the courtyard. He selected Pitts, Knox and Cameron to walk in a circle. Todd and Neil stood even closer than usual and Charlie was torturing Meeks by standing behind him breathing on his neck. It was torture for Eliza too even though she was stood away from them both she wanted Charlie to be stood behind her teasing _her_.

He looked at her and smiled weakly. She looked straight at the ground and tried hard not to cry. She tried to focus on the boys walking instead of the lump in her throat. The other boys around her started clapping as the boys in front walked in unison. She didn't want to do anything so stayed quiet. When Mr. Keating said that this exercise was to show the "dangers of conformity" he asked everyone to walk around the courtyard in different ways. Charlie decided to not walk and Eliza just walked. No silliness, just walking. For some reason she was also incredibly tired.

Eliza and Meeks caught each others eyes and Meeks went the same colour as his hair. She looked up at the sky at two birds circling with a third waiting to join in. She suddenly clicked and realised what had happened between him and Charlie the night before. She fell still before she told Todd she felt sick while running inside.

She shut her door with a loud bang and sighed heavily letting her tears out. She shouldn't have bothered being nice. Self-loathing washed over her. She then stood up against her door and stopped crying. _I shouldn't be crying over that bastard. He knew Meeks's feelings for him and treated him like dirt. After being turned down by me he immediately shagged someone else. He's not worth my tears._ She walked to her desk and busied herself with other things trying to forget everything.

*

Charlie felt incredibly guilty. He actually had proper feelings for Eliza but he had been stupid. He had shagged Meeks so quickly afterwards because he had been shot down by the only girl he had ever liked (not that he had known she was a girl) and not just wanted to shag her. After his night with Meeks he had gone to his room and tried to sleep for hours but the guilt loomed over him and kept him awake, so he had sat outside her room and whispered "I'm sorry" to her. _What a time to get a conscience. _

He wanted to run after Eliza (he had recognised her from the photo) but thought it best not to upset her again. He was in the middle of a crazy triangle and didn't know how to get just one person, or if he wanted just the one person. _Well, while I'm deciding it won't hurt to have some more fun with Meeks. _None of the boys knew what was going on with "Edward" and Charlie except Todd and Charlie. He hadn't told Meeks anything, so Meeks thought Eliza was over-reacting. He decided that he would have been happy for them both if they would have ended up together

*

That night Todd wasn't in his room. Neil was starting to get worried and went looking for him. He wondered the halls of the school and saw him in between the two corridors on a kind of bridge connecting the two. Todd smiled at Neil and explained that it was his birthday. Guilt trickled through Neil, he hadn't known. He stared at the boy he loved and felt compassion towards him when he revealed that the desk set he had was the same one he received the year before.

Eliza came down to see where they both were. She was looking to see if they needed help with the Trig homework she needed to help someone to keep her mind off of Charlie. When she saw the couple she was happy. They suited each other in their own way. When Todd threw the desk set over the bridge Neil gave him a hug. Eliza smiled at them and turned away leaving them to each others company. They wanted eachother and she would just have to go back to her room alone.


	15. Chapter 15

Eliza felt that she should _try _and be happy for Meeks. She had to move on from Charlie. She thought about moving on to Pitts but he might have had a heart attack if he found she was a girl and Cameron would annoy Charlie if they got together but she couldn't stand him so he went straight out the window. Plus he would tell everyone she was a girl. Everyone else from her group had someone and she didn't know anyone else well enough. There was always Spaz...

She thought it would just be easier to be alone.

Knox told everyone that he wouldn't be able to make the next meeting. It was the night of his party at the Danburry's house. He had come to Eliza's room in a complete panic over what he should wear. Eliza had given him the best advice. He looked so nervous. "You'll be fine, Knox." He smiled at her. He patted down his shoulders and the front of his blazer. "Thanks, Edward." They smiled at eachother and she called, "Good luck" after him.

The rest of the society made their way to the cave that night. Charlie hadn't appeared but they started without him. The cave seemed darker than usual and smelt of mold. As they read the opening passage they heard giggling from outside. Each boy fell silent as Charlie and two girls walked in. He identified them as Tina and Gloria. He pushed every boy aside so they could sit down but purposely left Eliza alone. He sat the girls down and told the boys in the cave that his name from then on was Nuwanda. Everyone had laughed at him bar the two girls who had just arrived.

Todd looked at Eliza's horrified face as Charlie recited poetry to the girls, especially the Shakespeare. They weren't clever they assumed Charlie had written the poetry. _She_ had assumed that if he was going to go for any girl it would be her. Meeks didn't look happy either but decided to try and flirt with the girls instead of fighting Charlie. Eliza sat back so the shadows were covering her face. She didn't want to give Charlie the satisfaction of seeing her upset. She noticed how confident he looked around girls. He had this micheivious sparkle in his eye when he spoke to them. Eliza gathered he had brought the girls to show off to the other boys as well as to try and get a shag.

Charlie then looked at Eliza through the shadows and announced that he had put an article in the school paper about how woman should be allowed to go to Welton. Eliza's mouth dropped and he smiled at her as though expecting a "thank you".

The other boys were telling him off, for speaking for the whole club, when she stood up and whispered, "I can't believe you did that, Charlie." She looked him in the eyes. "I will be expelled." She was trying hard to stay calm. "Somehow they will find out I am in this club and somehow they will connect me to this." She snatched the paper from him. Her voice was getting louder and higher as she talked. The other boys stayed silent, they had never seen her this angry.

"I thought that you would like that... Imagine not having to pretend anymore." He stopped and added, "I'll take the blame." He looked confused and so did the boys who didn't know her secret.

"Will you shut your trap?" She looked like she might hit him, "No I don't like this. I… will… be… expelled. I don't want that and I would hope none of you do too! Plus you are on your last warnings and I don't want _you _to be expelled. I can't believe you Charlie." She had screamed at him but whispered the last line and looked straight into his eyes. Charlie looked both confused and content, she obviously did care about him.

Gloria then said, "His name's Nuwanda." She was stood next to Charlie and locked her arm in his she gave Eliza a mock smile. Charlie didn't look away from her.

Without a second thought she punched Gloria in the face and stomped out of the cave into the night alone, leaving the boys to mop up the pool of blood from Gloria's nose. She stopped at the cave entrance for a second then carried on towards the school. She knew Charlie's intentions were pure for once but at what cost?

Todd came running after her and they walked back together in silence. The woods were eerie in the dark and even worse with only Todd for protection. Todd stopped and looked up in the sky at the moon. He smiled and said "Huh. The moon looks beautiful tonight."

Eliza said nothing but smiled at him. She knew he wanted to share this moment with Neil not her. She wanted to break something, namely Gloria's legs. When they got back to their rooms Eliza mumbled "If he asks, you can tell Neil about me. But only if he asks. And tell him, you know, not to tell." Todd nodded and let her go inside her room before letting himself giggle about her punching Gloria.

*

There was an assembly about the article the next day. Before they walked in Todd and Neil came up to Eliza and smiled. Neil put his arms around her and whispered "I know." She felt better that he did, as he was pretty much the leader of their gang of friends. While they were walking in Eliza made sure she was in between Pitts and Meeks so Charlie couldn't get in.

All the "Dead Poets Society" members were sat together feeling ashamed of Charlie, he could get them in huge trouble. Eliza was sat next to him, not by choice on her part, he had made everyone move up so he could sit by her including Pitts (this surprised her because she assumed that he would sit next to Meeks). When he had sat down he grinned at her and whispered "Her nose looks huge now." Eliza said nothing and his face fell he had meant it as a sort of apologetic gesture. When Mr. Nolan said it was the only chance the people who wrote it could avoid expulsion Eliza realised Charlie had a phone on his lap that was ringing. He stood up and said "Mr. Nolan it's for you. It's God. He says we should have girls at Welton." Hatred flowed through Eliza as she glared at Charlie's back.

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**Don't know when my next update will be I won't be in tomorrow so unless I randomly write **_**another**_** one today have a good weekend.**


	16. Chapter 16

Mr Nolan ordered Charlie to walk to him and stand beside him. Charlie winked at Eliza and slowly made his way up to Mr. Nolan. His footsteps echoed and he felt very conscious of his walk.

Eliza couldn't hate him as she watched him walk like a condemned man. She actually wanted to run and hug him, tell him it was ok and that she would take the blame. She wanted to but couldn't and didn't. The awful silence seemed to affect her more than anyone. He had written the article with her in mind. He was trying to be kind.

Charlie took his final steps towards Mr Nolan. He turned Charlie to face the other boys and asked "Did anyone else have anything to do with this? Speak now." His eyes scanned every boy and landed on Eliza. He waited for someone to shout "It was me!" But no one did. "Very well. You are all dismissed."

Each boy stood up and tried to pile out of the room. Eliza waited for the first rush out of the door to die down and just watched Charlie. Mr. Nolan said something to him and Charlie nodded with a grave expression. Mr Nolan started to walk out of the door and Charlie sighed. He looked up at the boys and caught Eliza's eye, he smiled at her.

He turned to follow Mr. Nolan and something happened to Eliza. She had a horrible sinking feeling in her stomach, she didn't want anything to happen to Charlie but didn't have the guts to say anything. All her anger and hatred for Charlie washed away. He was incredibly brave in fact and he was doing something amazing for her. She sighed and thought, _I am a complete idiot._

Neil turned to check all the group had got out of the room but spotted "Edward" just stood staring at the place Charlie had been stood. He walked back and placed his hand on her shoulder. Now he knew "he" was a she he could see the slight bulge where her breasts were and how feminine her facial features were. He also noticed how small her hands and feet were. "He'll be fine. Charlie's done this before and no doubt he'll do it again. Somehow he always manages to get into Nolan's office." She didn't move her head so Neil felt he should say something more, but he couldn't think of anything.

Eliza looked up at the attractive boy. _It's a shame he's gay really. _She smiled and said "Come on. Otherwise we'll never get out." Eliza walked in front of him through the now reasonably empty hall. He shook his head at her but followed her out. She would only talk properly to Todd. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to anyone else but she felt she could talk to him and that she could trust him. Before they walked out of the hall she turned and looked at the stairs at the back.

They made their way to their rooms talking about the many times Charlie had ended up in Nolan's office including one time with a "men's magazine" it turned out he had put up lots of pictures of naked women around the school. They were talking when they got to their corridor and saw every boy from every room on the corridor was stood outside waiting for Charlie.

Eliza wanted to shout at them and tell them to go back their rooms but instead walked into her own room and shut the door.

She stared out of the window at the dark sky covered in cloud. She didn't know how long she was stood there for but felt like soon after she shut herself in she heard movement from outside.

Eliza could hear someone talking and opened the door to here a very tearful Charlie shout "Damn it Neil the name's Nuwanda." She closed her door again and smiled. Everything was going to be ok.

Eliza went for a walk in the school grounds to take her mind off of Charlie. She wasn't even taking much notice of where she was going. All she knew was that the ground was green and the sky was blue. She was too busy thinking to notice anything else. When she returned all the boys were in the small common room at the end of the corridor.

Charlie was sat in the large armchair in the middle of the room. Reciting what happened in Nolan's office to his friends. He was using a drum to signify the footsteps and she guessed he would have used it to signify the wood hitting his ass. She stood in the doorway, he had not seen her yet. Charlie had sunglasses and a cigarette in his hand as well as the drum on his lap. Mr Keating walked in and told Charlie it was unwise to do what he did. When he walked in Eliza walked out.

Knox noticed and followed her. "Edward is everything ok?" He was stood at her door and didn't want to walk in unannounced. She came to the door and invited him in. "What happened last night then? At your party I mean." She asked.

He laughed and sighed pointing at his slightly crooked nose. "Chet." Was his reply. He then went on to explain that when he got there he saw Chris who told him that "Ginny Danburry" was there. He then went and had whisky with these two guys who thought he was some boy called "Mutt's" brother. He then got incredibly drunk sat next to Chris's head stroked her hair, kissed her forehead and got punched in the face by Chet who then told him if he ever saw him again Knox would die.

Knox talked incredibly quickly about him and Chris obviously embarrassed. "What are you going to do?" She asked him.

"I'm going to go see her and apologise. Maybe even read her a poem." He looked off into the distance and Eliza said "Didn't Chet tell you-" He stopped her with a wave of his hand and walked out of the room.


	17. Chapter 17

OMG I am sooo sorry I haven't updated in a while! Please forgive me readers! I've actually been doing stuff lately and I was too angry to write anything yesterday (bad day) wow I have lots of bad excuses. Hope you enjoyed last chapter, I am trying really hard to slow everything down (it is a problem I have had forever) but I hope this is up to a good standard. J

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The next few days Charlie was being hailed as a saint of sorts. Every boy wanted crowd around him just so they could say they talked to Charlie Dalton. The first day this happened Eliza thought it was funny but soon he became even more cocky than usual and the number of boys just grew and grew. Eliza had taken to calling him "The Cockmonster" when she was on her own. She then realised Charlie might like that so went for "Cockmuncher" which she realised was even worse. So just stuck to "cock" or "asshole." Only Cameron and the teachers felt ashamed of him (Hager even gave him double homework) which only enforced his "heroism."

The other boys would discus with Knox how to impress Chris even though they knew Chet would kill him. Eliza would listen but sit apart from the other boys, usually thinking about how messed up Knox's handsome face would be after seeing Chris again.

Knox eventually decided on a soppy love poem and he ran away to start writing immediately. It had been a long discussion and Eliza couldn't even be bothered to pretend to listen. She3 was sat behind Neil and Todd staring out of the window or at the crowd of boys around Charlie. She had refused to talk to him after the incident and hadn't started talking to him again yet. "What's wrong?" Eliza hadn't noticed Neil turn around to address her. "Nothing, why?"

Neil gave her a hard stare. He turned his back on her. Why was she suddenly being such an idiot? She was also being incredibly rude to everyone, not to mention the fact she was acting more and more like a boy every day. He needed to get her out. The next day he was going to rehearsals perfect time to get her out.

As he walked past her door in the morning, he knocked. Edwards low voice answered him. "You are coming with me." Neil grabbed her arm. He grinned at her confused expression and led her to the bike racks. "Come on." He jumped on his bike and started riding towards the town, she followed him. They rode for what seemed like forever, to Eliza, to Henley Hall.

They stood at the door and Neil turned to her and shook his head. "No this will not do, take off the wig and the jumper, providing of course that you do have something on underneath." She did as he asked with an amused expression on her face. "I brought you here because I want you to talk to some girls again. Bitch, talk about clothes, I do not care just talk to them. You need to spend more time with people your own sex."

She put her costume in a brown paper bag she saw lying on the floor. "Come on then, I want to see you perform." She grinned at Neil and he shook his head "Loose the voice."

"You are so demanding Mr. Perry." Her voice felt like honey dripping from her mouth. They walked inside and could see that the rehearsals had already started. There was a girl sat near the front who Neil identified as Lucy. He then walked to the stage leaving them to sit and talk.

"Hi I'm Eliza. Neil didn't introduce me." Saying her real name made Eliza incredibly happy.

"Is he your boyfriend?" Lucy looked innocent but she knew how to cut to the chase.

"No, no. He's a friend. But he is seeing someone." Eliza guessed from the strangers tone she was interested. Lucy nodded. They sat in silence for a while but having female company relaxed Eliza. The conversation started to flow when Lucy's sister came on the stage as Tatiana.

After a few hours of meaningless conversation Neil told Eliza it was time to return to "Helton." They were stood outside briefly while Eliza put her costume back on. "Thank you, Neil." They looked at each other and decided to leave. This time the journey seemed shorter and more enjoyable. Eliza's small amount of freedom had counted for a lot of peace of mind.

When they got back it was time for dinner. Eliza went straight to the hall and sat eating with her friends, a giant grin on her face. She noticed that Knox was in a strange mood but decided it best not to ask yet. However much she wanted to find out why he was in a weird mood she wanted to talk to Charlie instead.


	18. Chapter 18

Thbankyou for all the good comments. Hope you enjoy!

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That night Eliza was sat in her room alone, as usual. This time she was more relaxed and decided on doodling on a piece of paper, she hadn't done so in weeks. Charlie and her had made up she felt the same feeling she had felt when he had kissed her (before the guilt), she wrote his name on the paper in different colours, surrounded by pink hearts. It was the first time she had felt like a girl in days.

*

After dinner all of the boys made their way to the common room except from Todd who went to find Neil. Charlie got the idea that even though he and Eliza had been talking all through dinner that she didn't want to stop yet.

Charlie and her had talked together quietly for an hour on their own. There was hardly anyone in the room. Meeks and Pitts were playing with their radio and Spaz was being attacked by Hopkins. They sat together giggling when she finally said, "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you for putting the article in the paper. You were doing it to try and make me happy… I'm also sorry for the amount of damage it caused you afterwards, to your ass I mean." They grinned at each other. She felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

Charlie said nothing for a few minutes but watched her pretty face relax. Even though she was still wearing her costume, Charlie could see Eliza. He let a small smile light up his face which lit up hers in turn. The rest of the hour had been used to discuss how it would be if she was allowed to be a girl instead of dressing up as a boy. Neither of them cared that Meeks was glaring at the two of them.

*

Eliza reflected on their time together with a large grin on her face. She was so deep in thought that she didn't realise that Knox had walked into the room. He looked over her shoulder and saw the words "Eliza 4 Charlie." "Eliza?" Knox couldn't hide a look of shock from his face. "Eliza." His eyes grew as realisation passed over his face, Eliza ran to her door to shut and lock it, she also noticed there was a strange look on his face, one of glee. "Knox, please." She looked so sad suddenly. No one was supposed to know, now most of the group did.

Knox said nothing but walked up to her and hugged her. "It's OK. I guessed. You're not like the others." She looked up at him and raised an eyebrow, removed his strong arms from around her and pulled off her wig. "Sorry but it's true and you look like a girl, in the face I mean. I think the moment I guessed was when you punched Gloria. A boy would never punch a girl in the face." She started to giggle and shook her head at him.

"Well done, Sherlock." Knox walked up to her and embraced her again. "Oh," She pushed him back a bit and added, "I forgot to ask, how'd it go?" His smile faded slightly. "Ah, I was waiting for that." He sat on her bed. "I gave her the flowers and read the poem but…"

"What did she say?" She joined him on the bed.

"Nothing. Absolutely nothing." He had a mixed expression of triumph and despair. Eliza put her arm around him. "She's difficult. She's been my best friend for what seems like forever. I still don't understand her." He chuckled to himself. "It was you they were talking about. Her and that boy."

"That boy just happens to be my brother, John. I haven't been able to talk to either because you lot are always about. I suppose it wouldn't matter now anyway. Pitts is the only one who doesn't know." She had a sad smile on her face. She and Knox sat talking for a while about how she got into the school until Knox decided he had better go and decide what he was going to wear the next day.

*

Todd and Neil led next to each other, both were naked and facing each other. Neil let a tear fall down his face and Todd wiped it away. Neil had seen his father who had told him to stop doing the play. He had then gone to Keating for advice. He had found no comfort in what he had said so found comfort in Todd. Neither spoke but held each other. Neil was not going to leave the play and that was it. No one would understand if he told them. Not even Todd. He would have to defy his father to live his life.

Todd desperately wanted Neil to tell him what he was going to do. He was so worried. Neil seemed like the strongest of them all but he wasn't.

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Hope you enjoyed please comment!


	19. Chapter 19

In the night Eliza heard voices from outside. She had, had a problem sleeping thinking about the play the next night so she was not happy. She soon realised the voices belonged to Meeks and Charlie. They were having an argument of some sort. Eliza tried to go back to sleep but both curiosity and worry were keeping her awake. She didn't want to disturb them but couldn't hear a word of what was being said. She wanted to open the door a little and listen but decided against it. She stared up at the ceiling instead straining her ears to hear what they were saying. She thought she heard her name but refused to believe the argument was about or had anything to do with her. Suddenly a thump on her door made her jump, it was the sound of a body bashing into the door. A slam of a door further down the hall followed and the body on the floor hit his head against the door in anger.

She couldn't sleep until the body moved. When it did it stood up slowly and stood still at the door. She could see his shadow turn towards the door then walk away. She felt exhaustion make her eyes heavy and she fell asleep again.

*

The next day they had English. Mr. Keating talked about Shakespeare some more and made Eliza read out a sonnet. He was impressed and asked her to assist him in reading a scene from "Much Ado About Nothing" with help from Neil. Keating made her read Hero's part. Alarm bells rang in her head and Charlie tried to take the part instead, this was to no avail. She did a strange voice trying hard not to do her own. Keating shook his head at her and told her to do a real woman's voice. She looked down on her page and let her own voice slip out. The boys who didn't know that "Edward" was a girl just thought that he was good at doing women's voices. Keating realised, of course, as soon as he had made her do the voice he regretted it.

When the lesson was over he asked Neil and "Edward" to stay behind. After asking Neil whether he had talked to his father he walked up to Eliza and sat on the desk in front of her. She was suspicious of Neil, to her knowledge he hadn't talked to his father.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realise." Mr. Keating started.

"You weren't supposed to know, and nobody else has realised." She didn't want him to feel to guilty, she admired him for his courage. In fact she admired him full stop.

"Mr. Dalton knows." He was not going to let himself off the hook that easily.

"So does Mr. Perry, Mr. Meeks, Mr. Overstreet and Mr. Anderson. They knew already." She smiled weakly at him.

"He tried to stop me from giving the part to you. He was trying to be heroic and I thought he was being selfish."

"Captain it's OK. I can look after myself. Just please don't tell anyone that they know or you know for that matter. I'll be expelled. Actually I'm surprised I haven't been yet, I've not been as careful as I thought I would be." She laughed.

He paused and stared at her smiling face. "I won't say a word." He put his hand on his heart and three fingers up in the air, "Teachers honour."

Each of the boys were incredibly excited that they were being allowed out of the school for the night. Neil went to Henley Hall early. He had to get ready. When he left each boy whished him "good luck" only Todd said "break a leg."

The other boys stood around trying to decide what to wear. She was surprised at how they spent more time getting ready than she did.

"Pitts and Cameron are the only ones who don't know. Maybe it's time they did." Eliza whispered to herself. She grabbed her backpack and instead of just putting on her Edward costume first she stuffed on some nicer clothes underneath. She was going to be a girl tonight no matter what.

She walked into the boys bathroom the see if they were ready yet. Keating was getting impatient. They were all brushing their hair or straitening their ties. Eliza stood in the doorway and shook her head at the boys especially Cameron who was under the impression that he was going to end up getting laid that night. "Where's Charlie?" She asked, Meeks looked at her and glared. "He said something about "getting red.""

Knox smiled at her when she let a loud laugh out. He had been staring out of the window. Charlie suddenly appeared out of a cupboard and his eyes grew when he saw Eliza. He showed everyone a red lightning bolt he had painted on his chest, "It's a Indian warrior symbol for virility. Makes me feel potent." All the boys and Eliza laughed at him. "Come on Keating's waiting." She was still giggling and all the boys followed her out.

As they walked passed the front door they all noticed a blonde girl walk in. All of them stopped in their tracks and before Knox could say anything Eliza cried "Chris!" She ran to hug her best friend but met a surprised expression. "It's me." Chris's eyes grew and she embraced her best friend. "But you are here to see Knox so I'll talk to you soon." As she walked back towards the boys she winked at Knox.

She and Charlie pushed the boys out of the side door towards the teachers car park. They tumbled in and left Chris and Knox to talk.

"Charlie." Eliza whispered to the boy she loved. He looked at her and smiled. "I am going to become a girl in a bit. Cameron cannot know. He will tell Nolan. I need you to pretend that "Edward" has gone back because he wasn't feeling well and invite me to come sit by you. OK?" He grinned, "Only if I get to kiss you." Her heart leapt, she rolled her eyes but nodded. It was stuffy in the car. It was overcrowded and so many teenage boys made it smell funny.

When they arrived the boys stood in the long queue to get their seats. Charlie told Eliza to go. She whispered to Mr. Keating that she would get her own ticket as long as there was a space for her next to Charlie. He laughed and she stuck her hand over her mouth. She ran into the toilets which were next to them. She went into a cubicle and took of her jumper and trousers and changed her shoes. She put on the tiniest bit of make-up and brushed her then walked out to the back of the line.

She got to the front of the line eventually and they asked what her name was. She told them "Eliza or Edward Jones." She chuckled and they turned to a woman behind them who directed her towards her friends. Eliza smiled and thanked them. She stood near the end of the row and looked around to see if there were any seats available.

Charlie saw her and his mouth dropped. She was wearing a dark blue dress which came just below the knee with a v-neck. She had on the same colour high heels and Charlie didn't have to act. "Look Edwards not coming back why don't we invite her over?" He said it loud enough for Cameron to hear and Mr. Keating agreed, realising that it was "Edward." He stood up and walked to her noticing her hair looked glossy and he had the urge to smell it. "Hi. We have a space free our friend couldn't make it would you like to sit down with us?"

"OK. Thanks. Lead the way." He walked to his seat picked up Cameron by the collar and moved him to sit on the other side of him and sat Eliza down in his place, between Todd and Charlie. Todd grinned at Eliza. Eliza turned and winked at him and Mr. Keating not noticing Charlie sniff her hair at the same time.

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Hope you enjoyed!


	20. Chapter 20

**OMG 20 chapters! This is a record for me. I couldn't have done it without you readers *wipes away tear* ;) We're nearing the end now. I hope you enjoy this chapter. It's going to be VERY difficult for me to write. Please comment at the end. And… I'm so sorry…**

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The boys, Eliza and Mr. Keating sat together in silence, they stared at the stage in absolute awe. Eliza was so moved by the performance that she felt tears sting her eyes.

Charlie looked at her a lot, watching each change of expression; from joy to wincing. He had never wanted to stare at anyone's face before, boobs yes, but not face. She turned to look at him and he flicked his head towards the stage. He said he would kiss her but, however much he wanted to he couldn't seem to do it, she made him nervous.

When Eliza's eyes started to fill with tears Charlie noticed and smiled at her while taking her hand in his. She rested her head on his shoulder actually surprised he hadn't made a move on her yet. Eliza felt Charlie's back straighten then fall again when her head made contact with his shoulder.

When the play finished all the boys, Eliza and Mr. Keating gave Neil a standing ovation and shouted "yawp" she had forgotten that Cameron didn't know. Neil noticed her and grinned, she winked back.

As they walked out of their row Eliza heard Cameron say "She was saying yawp too. Did Charlie tell her what that meant? I mean it was bad enough he would sell us out for a _girl_…" Cameron carried on but Charlie decided to save her and explained that she just followed them and shouted it with them.

Pitts was stood at the end of the row, waiting for someone. He smiled at Eliza and she smiled back walking a little quicker. Before she could get out he walked in front of her trapping her. "Good costume, Edward. If I didn't know better I would have said you were a girl. How did you get yourself so tightly packed in, your stomach is really flat? Did you use some of your stomach as your boobs?" Eliza stood and stared at him. He was not joking. She could hear a small laugh from behind her and a quick "Ow" from Todd as Mr. Keating poked him in the back.

"Um, Pitts. I _am _a girl. I've been dressing up as a _boy_." She tried not to sound patronising but it came out that way. Pitts stood and gawped for a while and went a shade of red. "Just don't tell anyone I gotta get changed." She walked away, suppressing a laugh, and into the loos.

When she remerged the her friends were still trying to get out. As she went to join them a bald man followed by Neil pushed past her. As Neil passed she whispered "Well done." He smiled weakly. She heard Charlie say something and car doors. Eliza pushed past the rest of the crowd in time to see the back end of Neil's dad's car.

When Charlie spotted her she shouted "I missed the whole thing?" Pitts stared at the floor embarrassed by his comment about her boobs. Mr. Keating replied "Yes, Mister Jones."

"Was he good?"

"Incredible." Answered Charlie, "Hope you don't mind but I let the most beautiful girl I have ever seen take your seat." He grinned at Eliza.

"Well, I wouldn't want to get in the way of your sex-life." She retorted, blushing.

"Can we walk back, captain? Captain?" Mr. Keating was staring off after Neil. He agreed. Eliza walked to catch up with Pitts, this was difficult because Pitts had incredibly long legs and walked at the speed of sound, whereas Eliza had short legs and had the pace of a galloping snail at the best of times.

She had to almost run to catch up to him. "Pitts." He carried on, "Pittsie?" He turned around and sighed, "Look it's ok. Don't feel embarrassed, my boobs are unnaturally big even if I do say so myself." She grinned at him, he still looked at the ground so she carried on "Lighten up Pittsie. I don't care, neither should you. Everyone who doesn't know thinks I'm a boy so don't worry about that either." He still looked as bad but she decided to leave him alone and walk with Chris and Knox instead.

Todd joined Pitts in the front of the line, they walked in silence, Todd's mind was elsewhere. Chris and Eliza had a lot of catching up to do. They talked about school and both their families among other things. All of the friends decided to have their scheduled meeting without Neil.

They sat and talked about how amazing the performance was and contemplated upon why Neil's dad took him home. The friends danced around the fire and chanted. After about an hour they decided to go back to the school. They marched through the forest together as quickly as they could. They all had a strange feeling of dread.

Eliza went to bed straight after they returned and said goodnight to all of the boys. Charlie had come to her door before she had got into bed. He knocked on her door softly and she opened it slowly. Letting him only see her face. He said nothing but kissed her softly on the lips, "Good night." He smiled and she sighed "Good night, Nuwanda." He grinned wider, she had never called him that before. Eliza closed the door and lent against it.

Eliza got into her bed and smiled to herself. Maybe Charlie did care, he was forever making sure no one found out that she was a girl and he kept glancing over at her during the performance. She fell asleep with Charlie as her only thought.

Eliza was awoken by the sound of lots of footsteps down the hall, first a large stomp which sounded like Hager then every now and then she would hear multiple footsteps at a time. She tried to put a pillow over her head so she could sleep but curiosity was keeping her awake.

Eliza heard the door handle turn slowly. For a moment she heard nothing then a high creak from the door. She stayed looking at the wall fearing the intruder was a stranger. She heard a soft creak from one of the floorboards and heavy breathing. The intruder sniffed. She heard a knee hit the carpeted floor then a click as the other bent and joined it's brother. The person sniffed again and put their hand on her shoulder. The intruder shook her and whispered "Eliza."

Eliza recognised the voice and slowly turned to look at him. Her hair fell over her face as she saw the morose expression on his face. A tear crawled down his nose and another down his cheek. The light from the shut window was the only source of light in the room. Eliza moved her hair from her face. "Knox?" The handsome boy looked down at his knees. He fell silent. "Knox." He let another tear slide down his other cheek, it traced his cheek bone and feel off of his jaw. She pulled her hand out from beneath her quilt and lifted his face to look at hers. "What's wrong?"

In a quick movement Knox grabbed Eliza's hand and held it on his face. He then put it in front of him and stared at it. "Neil… Neil." He looked up into her eyes. "Neil is… dead." He burst into tears and sat holding himself letting her hand fall into the air.

She stared at the silhouette of her best-friends boyfriend. She then looked up at the ceiling and brought her hand back in under the covers. "Has anyone told Todd?" She asked coldly. "Charlie is now." He gasped in between sobs.

She threw her covers off of her and walked towards the window hearing the familiar creak from the floorboard. She stood on it again. She wouldn't have noticed it on the first day if Neil hadn't pointed it out. Slowly she began to crumble, the weight of this new knowledge crushing her.

"Leave me." Knox looked up at Eliza. "Leave me, Knox." Her voice was only a whisper. "Get out!" She screamed and he jumped. Knox stood up but didn't walk away. He walked towards her and held her. Eliza let out a sob and couldn't stop. "Please Knox, go comfort Todd." She pleaded and he let her go, closing her door with a soft bump.

Eliza stood at the window letting her grief take over her. She saw he boys go out into the snow through her blurred eyes, although they only looked like black spots on the snow she knew it was her friends. She saw Todd fall to the floor and one of the other boys looked up at her.

She walked back towards her bed and crawled under the covers. She felt so alone and wished she had made Knox stay with her. She heard the high pitched creak of her door again. Someone led behind her, put his one arm under her head and the other over her arm so he could hold her hand. Eliza could feel Charlie's spearmint breath on the back of her neck. She whispered, "I love you, Nuwanda." before falling asleep in the safety of his arms.

When he was sure she was asleep (the sound of her snoring was a giveaway) he whispered "Yeah, I love you too, Eliza." He burrowed his head in her sweet smelling hair, he made it wet with his tears, before falling asleep with her.


	21. Chapter 21

When Eliza awoke, the back of her neck felt wet with sweat. She tried to move her arm but couldn't because someone with incredibly strong arms was holding her tight. She sighed and smiled slightly as she remembered the night before, although as she was only half awake she could not remember why he had led down with her. He had one arm over her neck and holding her shoulder, the other was on top of her hand. How had she been able to sleep in this position? She shook off the feeling of claustrophobia as the cloud over night before started to part.

She remembered Knox's face in the moonlight, the boy's in the snow… Neil. Fresh tears started to sting her eyes. She felt sick. Eliza started to sob loudly and heard Charlie whisper, "Shh it's all going to be OK." He couldn't keep the despair out of his voice however much he tried. Eliza unwrapped Charlie's arms and turned over she looked into Charlie's dark eyes briefly before pressing her head into his chest.

He held onto her tightly for a while. He smelt her hair, it wasn't as irresistible as the night before but it was still good. He could feel a lump in his throat but would not allow her to see him cry. "I have to go see Todd." She whispered, "He's needs us." She pressed her lips against Charlie's and clambered over him, he stayed staring at the wall in case a tear fell down his cheek. She stuck on her jumper and wig and kissed his forehead, "You can stay here if you like, it's up to you." She smiled sadly and walked out of the room leaving Charlie to weep on his own.

Eliza appeared out of her room and looked at the clock in the corridor. It was 11 o'clock, she realised that she had missed two lessons already. She opened the door to Todd's room. He was led, fast-asleep, fully dressed on top of Neil's quilt, wet, from the snow, and shivering. She walked to Todd's bed and sat down on the edge. Todd's eye's burst open and stared at her for a minute before he stood up. She was quite shocked when he did. He wobbled a bit and Eliza dived towards Neil's bed and pulled back the covers.

Todd sat back down. "Neil." He half whispered, half chocked. Eliza nodded and he led back down on the bed. She pulled the quilt over him. He let out a sob and clinged to the blanket and pillow. He sniffed the pillow. He was trying to take in as much of Neil as he could. He fell asleep ignoring Eliza. She had curled up into a ball and was crying on her hand. It was the most horrific thing she had ever seen. Todd's look of realisation then bereavement had shocked her and made her feel worse than she had done. She never wanted to see that expression again or feel what he was feeling.

She watched his face relax as he fell asleep. It calmed her. She lent against the wall and stared at him. Todd was an attractive boy she could see why Neil loved him… Neil. She had a strange feeling that Neil was going to walk through the door and ask everyone why they looked so sad. It was hard for her to think of the vibrant young man as dead.

She heard a very soft knock at the door and Charlie poked his head around the door. Her tear stained cheeks and blood-shot eyes compelled him to her. He sat next to her and held her hand. "He'll be OK. He'll get over him." Eliza turned to look at Charlie. She raised an eyebrow, "So how fast would you move on if I died?" He opened his mouth and closed it again. "I didn't mean straight away. I meant in like a year or two."

Eliza watched the sleeping Todd and wondered if it would take him even longer to get over Neil. He would never forget him, she knew that much. "Come on. Let's leave him in peace." Charlie almost dragged Eliza out of the room.

He didn't let go of her hand as they walked down the silent corridor. Knox and Meeks suddenly appeared out of their rooms. Their cheeks were stained too. Eliza took one look at Knox and almost ran to embrace him, he smelt of unclean boys but she didn't care. They both started lamenting. Meeks came up behind her, he decided to put aside their differences. She turned to look at him and threw her arms around his neck whispering "I'm so sorry Meeks." He replied, "Me too." Into her shoulder. Pitts and Cameron then appeared out of nowhere and for the first time she hugged both of them too. Pitts had left all sense of embarrassment behind him.

"I think we should all go and see Todd. Together." Eliza announced and all the boys nodded in agreement. She walked back in the direction she came and opened the door to find a sobbing Todd. They all crowed around him and tried to comfort him. The biggest comfort for him though was that he had so many friends who cared about him.

They sat together talking about all Neil's funny moments and how amazing he was. It did not stop the crying but made them all feel better. Some of the stories even made them laugh. Everyone was sat around the room, mostly on Todd's bed. Todd was the only one allowed on Neil's.

They eventually left Todd in peace. He sniffed the pillow again, imagining Neil telling him that he loved Todd. "I love you too, Neil." He quietly whispered and fell into a light slumber.

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I know a lot didn't happen in this but they never showed how the boys were the next day.


	22. Chapter 22

The next day was the funeral, the school wanted to get it over and done with as quickly as possible. Eliza sat with her friends in silence. Every now and then she would hear Todd choke on a sob and would look at him but preferred to stare at the floor. She didn't even pay attention to what was being said or sung. She just thought of her friend and cried. Nolan said something about a "thorough inquiry" and a feeling of dread took over her grief. She was out and she knew it.

The boys walked out in unison towards their rooms. For once Eliza took control of Charlie and pulled him into her room. She locked the door. Charlie raised his eyebrows. He hadn't forced her to do anything, yet. She walked towards him with a strange look in her eyes. Eliza stood in front of him and pressed her lips on his like usual, she opened her mouth slightly and let in a little bit of tongue. He met hers and the two muscles danced around each other in their mouths. Eliza pulled back her wig and put her hands in his hair. He put one hand on her back and the other on her butt. He squeezed slightly and pulled her towards him while pushing her towards the bed. She fell on it with a bump. Charlie was desperately trying to take off his clothes and she was doing the same. He lent over her and kissed her lips, neck and carried on downwards, over her nipples and further… "Charlie don't tease me." She moaned. He moved himself back up, his face just above hers and plunged himself into her, causing her to gasp, "I love you."…

Todd went back to his room, he lead inside Neil's bed letting his tears flow. "Why did you leave me? We could have lasted a lifetime."

He crawled under the covers so that he could not be seen. _Todd…Todd…_What on earth? _I'm right here. Come on lets have some fun! _Todd was sat on his bed, Neil was stood above him he leaned down to kiss him. They were suddenly in a green field, Neil was running, _Come on Todd. Speed up! _Neil stood next to him, he had been so far away, Todd didn't remember him being so fast, _I love you Todd._

The covers from his bed were pulled off him by Knox. The light hurt his eyes and the air made him cold. Knox sighed. He shook his head. "You scared me Todd. I could hear a noise from this room. I thought you were doing something, stupid." They sat on silence. Todd had stopped crying. Neil had loved him. His father had trapped him, that's why he killed himself.

Eliza led down next to Charlie. It had been amazing. They were both panting and grinning. Charlie coughed and got up. "Where are you going?" He had started putting on his clothes, Eliza was a little confused. "I have to go before Cameron suspects anything, you don't want to be kicked out do you?" He looked at her and knelt beside her. "I love you, you know that?" A smile spread across her face, "I do now." He kissed her head and fled out of the room. Eliza couldn't help smiling even though he had just left her after taking her virginity.

The next afternoon was a meeting in the attic, everyone was told about it. Eliza was the first there, Knox followed. They sat talking about Chris for a while. "You two ok? Has she decided whether to stay with you or Chet yet?"

Knox shook his head. He was obviously bitter about the whole situation. "Don't worry about it. She's not worth it if she chooses him." Knox's face softened into a smile, "Alright for you to say. You've got Nuwanda now." She smiled quickly at him and looked back at the floor. Charlie had been avoiding her all morning.

"Speak of the devil." Knox said looking toward the entrance. Charlie grinned at his two friends and sat next to Eliza. He took her hand "Good afternoon gorgeous." He kissed her hand then her cheek. He went for her lips but she moved her head. "Sorry about last night. I didn't mean to upset you."

"Well, you don't want to but you always end up doing it." She wouldn't look at him properly. He stroked her hand. Knox decided it was best not to ask what was wrong. Charlie leaned towards her and kissed her passionately. He looked into her eyes "Forgive me?" he asked. She rolled her eyes, a smile on her face. Todd walked in and witness the last seconds of the kiss, he sat next to Knox. Eliza looked at Knox apologetically, she knew no one would want to see that.

Eventually the whole group appeared except Cameron. "He's thinking." Charlie's accusations against Cameron made sense. He had a rant about Cameron, after which he appeared a sheepish look on his face.

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	23. Chapter 23

"Hey guys." Cameron looked at each of the boys and rested his eyes on Eliza. A side smile grew on his face. Charlie did the same smile but his looked attractive and not demonic. She knew in that instant that Cameron knew more than he should. Eliza tried to focus on everything but Charlie shouting at Cameron, she had never liked conflict. She stared at her feet, taking in the smell of must and watching the small specs of dust as they past the window. Cameron had told the board of governors about her, she knew it, but how had he found out? Charlie went for Cameron and Eliza jumped up to grab his arm. "Charlie, no." She whispered. Cameron shouted, "…You'll do exactly what I did and cooperate. They're not after us. We're the victims, us and Neil."

"Who're they after?" Charlie demanded.

"Mr. Keating of course the "captain" himself." Cameron looked angry but it was partly because he was trying to look manly so Charlie wouldn't go for him.

"What do you know, Cameron?" Eliza appeared from behind Charlie.

All the boys looked at her apart from Pitts, who looked at the wall beside him. Cameron walked towards her and pulled off her wig. "That you are no boy." He looked triumphant and turned to Pitts, "Thank you Pitts." The boys turned and stared at him. He finally turned from inspecting the wall.

"I'm sorry, I thought he knew, he said he did. I'm so sorry." Eliza glared at Cameron.

"It's OK Gerard. It wasn't your fault." She watched Cameron's face drop as she forgave Pitts. Pitts's face on the other hand lit up, he had thought she was going to hate him. "I'm out?" Eliza asked, Cameron's side smile appeared again.

Charlie wriggled out of Knox's hard grip and punched Cameron's nose breaking it instantly. Eliza took him to the back as soon as he did. "You shouldn't have done that. You might have been able to stay on here." She held his hand up so she could see his knuckles. "It was worth it." Eliza shook her head and smiled up at Charlie. She kissed her knight's lips. She looked at his knuckles they were red and bloody. "They are not going to pretty in the morning."

Straight after the meeting Hager came to find Charlie. They walked to Nolan's office in silence. Cameron had run away after getting his nose broken and had showed it to Nolan.

Eliza was terrified. She didn't know what was going to happen and wished Neil was there to comfort her. She heard a loud knock on her door and found Knox on the other side. "Keep in touch, OK?" He handed her a piece of paper with a telephone number and an address on it. She smiled and ripped a page out of one of her books, wrote her address and number on it and smiled as she passed it to Knox, "Only if you do too."

"Edward Jones." Hager's booming voice made Eliza jump. "Guess it's my turn. See you soon Knox. Be good." She winked at him and glided towards Hager. She noticed how big the halls were when they were empty. They reached the door of Nolan's room and Hager opened it for her. She looked in and could see her parents. "Mom, dad!" She hugged them both, ignoring the stone-faced headmaster stood behind the desk.

Eliza sat down in a small armchair and took off her wig. "Elizabeth Jenkins, do you confess to being in the "Dead Poets Society" after being told that you could be in no after school activity?" Eliza wanted to shout "this is a school not a courtroom."

"I do."

"And do you confess to telling all of your friends and Mr. Keating that you are in fact a girl?" He spat out the last word.

"I do, but I didn't tell Mr. Keating he guessed."

"And you do agree that Mr. Keating's pushing of Neil Perry towards acting ,which then caused an obsession, even though it was against his fathers wishes, eventually caused his death?" Eliza sat and stared at Mr. Nolan. She had to take in what he had said his sentence was designed to confuse her. He pushed forward a confession and a pen.

She smiled slightly and answered, "No." His eyes widened, if she wasn't going to be expelled before she was going to be now, she stood up and stared at Nolan, "Neil Perry was a talented, brilliant young man. He loved acting and wanted to try it for real instead of just acting for his father. The only way Mr. Keating is involved in his death, is that he taught us all that we were worth something. Taught us that our own beliefs are special and that we should treat every day as our last." She put her hands on the desk, "He told Neil that if he wanted to do the play he had to ask his father for permission. Neil did not ask his father which caused him to take Neil home where Neil killed himself. To add, I think it is disgusting that you are forcing each of us to sign the paper by bringing in our parents."

She sat down with a huff, terrified. She would not look at her parents. She had never acted that way before and she was actually proud of herself. Mr. Keating's lessons had taught her more than she thought. Mr. Nolan stood up and stared out of the window. "In that case, for breaking the simple rules I gave you, you are hereby expelled. Go and pack your things and be out of the school in two hours. Good day to you."

Her parents stood up and Eliza's father put his hand on her back to lead her out of the office. Once the door closed behind them her father twisted her around to hug her. "I'm so proud of you." She was shocked, Eliza was expecting a lecture, "What?"

"You stood up for what you believe in. One day you will look back and be proud of not stepping aside. We're so proud. Which is strange because I never thought I'd be proud when one of my children got expelled." Her Mom was as supportive. Eliza led them to her room and started packing as they went for a look down her corridor. Charlie stuck his head around the door soon after her parents left.

"You kicked out too?" Charlie was stood in her doorframe, the light from the corridor surrounded him like a halo. "Yeah, I shouted at Nolan." He laughed thinking she was joking. "You're serious?"

His parents appeared behind him. His dad had grey hair and thick glasses, he was incredibly short actually, his wife was taller. She had short straight hair and a strict face with lips pressed into a pout. Charlie raised his eyebrows "We're off now. Speak to you soon." He kissed her quickly as Eliza's parents appeared in the door. He slipped something into her pocket and left swiftly. "You're boyfriend?"

"Mum. Yes he is." Eliza turned back to her packing and her parents decided to help. They heard someone knock on the door, "Eliza?" She turned to see Todd, Knox, Meeks and Pitts. "Hey guys." Her parents smiled and stood watching from the back of the room.

"They kicked you out?" Todd's small voice was full of concern. "Don't worry about it. I had a go at Nolan. Just to tell you, all of your parents are here and are going to be in the meeting." She zipped up her suitcase and sighed. She walked over to Todd and hugged him, "Knox has my number and address if anyone needs to talk." She then looked directly at Todd, "Anytime at all." They embraced again and she felt a tear run down her cheek. She hugged each boy in turn. Once she had finished and said goodbye she went into her bathroom, as a last rebellious act she changed into her normal clothes. Her parents were stood waiting for her with all her bags. She walked out of her room with them, said goodbye to Knox again, he was stood outside his room, walked down the stairs and towards the exit.

Once she got through the doors she breathed in the fresh cool air. She got into the back of the car and her parents drove away. They tried not to notice her tears as they drove away, she already missed her friends and never expected to see them again…

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Hope you enjoyed the story (don't worry there is going to be one more chapter) please comment.


	24. Reunion

20 Years Later…

Eliza was running around the house. Where the hell was her husband? It was the night of the Welton reunion. She hadn't been invited, he had. "Neil! Stop attacking Edward!" She broke up the small fight in her living room. "Stephanie! Get down here now, you too Junior! Your uncle John will be here soon."

"Mom, stop calling me Junior!"

"I'll call you Junior as long as your father's still alive. Which won't be long if he doesn't hurry up." Her husband had the knack of being late, so did her brother for that matter. Her two older children finally stomped down the stairs. A knock on the door told her that her husband was home. She walked to the door quickly, "Where have you-" Before she could finish the man she adored swooped her down for a passionate kiss. "You won?" He laughed and put her on her feet. His dark eyes were bright and still as beautiful as they had been twenty years ago. She ran her hands through his greying hair and grinned at him. Realising her anger was being clouded by his attractiveness she changed her tone.

"Have you forgotten what tonight is?" His blank expression told her everything, "Knox, it's the reunion, go get changed." He ran up the stairs with a spring in his step. Eliza noticed her son sit on their dog Charlie, "Knox, Todd Overstreet. Get your bottom off the dog and onto a chair. You are twelve you should know better."

The doorbell rang again, this time it was her brother. "I'm sorry I'm late. You better be going. Hey kids!" Edward ran at his uncle. At eight, his uncle was still the coolest person he knew. The other children stood back and hoped he had bought sweets.

When they finally got on their way Knox told Eliza about the trail. "Technically I didn't win. I made the jury side with the father in the end. The mother was an alcoholic and she wasn't horrible to the children. The father loved his children. I couldn't win, it wouldn't be fair."

"You are a good man Knox." She stroked the side of his face with the back of her hand. However she was dreading seeing Charlie again. Surely he wouldn't be there. Knox and Eliza were happily married she had never looked back now she was being made to. He noticed her expression and grabbed her hand "It'll be fine." She trusted his judgement.

When they arrived at the school Eliza felt like she had on her first day, dressed as a boy. When they stepped out of the car Knox took her hand. They walked in, two girls were sat at a table handing out name tags. Knox asked for his and they spotted Steven with his boyfriend Charles. Charles was a butch man with a camp voice. It was not to notice he was gay. Meeks pulled him over and Eliza hugged both men. They had kept in touch especially after she left Charlie. "Have you seen anyone else?" Eliza asked after the usual how-are-you etc. "I think we saw Todd." As he said their old friends name, he appeared with Brian his partner.

Eliza waved him over and embraced both men. Brian looked remarkably like they imagined Neil would except he had bright blue eyes. He was lovely Eliza had met him a year ago. She was talking to Brian when she heard, "Oh my god." Todd was staring off into the distance and Eliza followed his gaze. Pitts, still a giant, was walking hand in hand with Charlie. They were walking towards the growing group. "Pitts and Dalton?" Asked Meeks. No one had thought they would end up together.

On their way they stopped and talked to Spaz and his wife. "So how did you two break up?" Asked Todd. She had never told him. "Well it was about a year after we were expelled and I found out Charlie was sleeping with _many _other women. So I left him, by this time the passion had turned to hate anyway. Then Knox phoned me a week later, sobbing. Chris had been stringing him along the whole time and she had finally chosen Chet. I thought she had chosen Chet way before. I went to visit him in Harvard and ended up going there myself. After a while we got together, dated for just over a year then as they say the rest is history."

"Where on earth is Cameron by the way? I thought he'd be here." Knox asked.

"Oh didn't you hear? He died in a boating accident. Hisw boss took him to Hawaii. He had a go in his boat managed to turn it over while having a go and drowned." Meeks answered dryly.

Charlie and Pitts appeared from behind Eliza. They whole group embraced the new arrival. Brian and Charles both decided to leave the group alone and get drinks. Todd made a gap in the circle involuntarily. "If only Neil was here we could have the whole group." Eliza sighed. Todd looked at the gap. He imagined Neil's kind face and smiled.

"So how long have you two been together? Got any kiddies?" Pitts was trying to break the awkward silence. "We've been together nineteen years, married seventeen." answered Knox.

"We have four children. They're all named after you lot. Our oldest; Stephanie Geraldine, our second; Knox Todd, then; Neil James and Edward Walt. 15, 12, 11 and 8. Don't think we've left you out Charlie, the dog is named after you- he's a Great Dane." Eliza grinned at Charlie. "Walt is?" Asked Meeks. Todd had tears in his eyes.

"Whitman. And sorry Pitts and Meeks that we used your names for our daughter." They shrugged. Charlie excused himself, "So how long have you been together?" Eliza asked Pitts.

"About fifteen years. I manage to keep him under control." He winked at Eliza. He had adoration in his eyes and a smile on his face. When Charlie, Brian and Charles returned she realised what a strange couple Pitts and Charlie made. But they were happy, that was what mattered.

In fact the whole group looked happy. It was strange her last memories of them were of them crying. She finally felt at peace with her past…

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I hope you enjoyed the story, that is the end. Thank you for reading!


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